Lovin' You Is A Dirty Job
Mood:  suave
Now Playing: Ratt "Ratt & Roll 81-91"
Topic: Boxing????
I have a new love. It's is no longer Sarah. I have liked her for awhile. I think we could go out, since we have some stuff in common right now. I'm gonna try and get her sn so I can talk to her. Oh well...Mary is gonna help me. She likes to box and may try out for the softball team this year, which is cool cause I thought I would too. Yeah so, me and Sharlene are cool again. Which is way sweet. We talked about it in the office this morning cause I seriously thought she was gonna kill me. But now that we're cool, I'm, heh, I'm ducking and dodging Sarah now. She tapped me on the arm on the way to 2nd block this morning but I just kept walking. So I don't know what to do now about her. I don't want to start talking to her right away like this since I just started being friends with Sharlene again.

Roses Are Black
Mood:  don't ask
Now Playing: Poison "Every Rose Has Its Thorn"
Topic: Forever and Always
We both lie silently still In the dead of the night.
Although we both lie close together
We feel miles apart inside
Was it somethin' I said or somethin' I did
Did my words not come out right
Tho' I tried not to hurt you
Tho' I tried
But I guess that's why they say

Every rose has its thorn
Just like every night has its dawn
Just like every cowboy sings his sad, sad song
Every rose has its thorn

Yea it does I listen to your favorite song
Playin' on the radio
Hear the DJ say love's a game of
Easy come and easy go
But I wonder does he know
Has he ever felt like this
And I know you'd be here right now
If I could have let you know somehow
I guess

Every rose has its thorn
Just like every night has its dawn
Just like every cowboy sings his sad, sad song
Every rose has its thorn

Though it's been awhile now
I can still feel so much pain
Like a knife that cuts you
The wound heals, but the scar,
That scar remains

I know I could have saved our love that night
If I'd known what to say
Instead of makin' love
We both made our separate ways
Now I hear you've found somebody new
And that I never meant that much to you
To hear that tears me up inside
And to see you cuts me like a knife

Every rose has its thorn
Just like every night has its dawn
Just like every cowboy sings his sad, sad song
Every rose has its thorn


Yeah. I think this song basically describes me and Sarah right now, at this point in our lives. I couldn't think of anything else.

Another Day.......
Mood:  irritated
Now Playing: Otep "House of Secrets"
Topic: Missing You...
Kinda irritated. I don't know what it is about her. She just makes me so mad sometimes. Sarah....Wonderful. I almost got my ass beat by Sharlene in the hall on my way to 3rd block on Friday. So two hall monitors had to take me to the bathroom to calm me down cause I was so scared and upset. So anyways, yeah, me and Sarah haven't talked for a record of 3 days now. I don't know if we ever will again. Or if things will ever be the same. I don't want to be hurt any more by Sarah. But maybe I can just get around this somehow. It's not my fault Sharlene doesn't trust Sarah. I don't understand.

On another note....Everyone's asking me what I want for my birthday. I don't know just yet. I was talking to my mom about going to Universal Orlando's Horror Nights. And Emilee already got my gift way back before September so...She told me that she got me a Motley Crue DVD at first, but it was all busted up and shit so she got me something else that, according to her, rocks out even harder. So yeah, not expecting too much or anything good. I guess I just have to face the facts here.

GSB
Mood:  chillin'
Now Playing: NIN "Head Like A Hole"
Topic: Missing You...
Well...It's almost my 16th birthday. I don't know what material things I want just yet. But I do know this. I think it would kick total ass if I could go to Texas and visit my Uncle Billy and Aunt Denise and my two cousins Jesse and Laura (a.k.a-Giant Spongebob or GSB). Yeah...Laura's a pimp. I miss her. She's all tattooed and pierced and shy. I think she rocks. So yeah, if we do go out there, we might go to HardRock Cafe Austin or HRC Dallas. I don't know just yet. But hopefully Laura will be able to make it. Yanno, I think I'm gonna take a hit for the team. When I see her again, I'm gonna be all like "YO! BIG L EASY! WHAT UP BIG PIMPIN?" Cause with 3 tounge rings, you have to be pimpin something....Aaaaaaah...She likes to run with siccors.

Anyways...I just found out that Izzy might be moving back to Puerto Rico. I'm gonna miss him! He's one of my gay little buddies. OMG! And he's going out with my gay buddie Richard too! OMG...I'm gonna be so lost without my little Izzy to hugg in the halls. Well...At least I still have Maber and #2 and all the others to talk to. I mean, I'm gonna feel so bad for Richard though. He really loves Izzy.

Can't Decide....
Mood:  hug me
Now Playing: Slipknot "Before I forget"
Topic: Boot Camp
I can't decide....I've been going through Boot Camp for the heart. I want to be in Boot Camp in the Air Force instead. I want to toughen my soul. My emotions are running wild right now. I don't know where to go. At 16 years of age, you'd think I'd be ready to face the future. Truth is, I'm really not. I realize what a child I still am. All I want is for my baby to love me the way that I love them. But before I forget, I just want to take a few minutes out of this time, to tell everyone who's ever fucked me up and helped me fuck up myself....Thank you. You don't know how you have helped me to grow and become the person I am today, and I am still learning from what you said and did. I am now a stronger person cause of the relationship that we had....I just wish Sarah would hugg me right now. I miss her and her sexy non-ass. I miss being able to breathe in and out and actually feel good about myself. I miss talking to someone on the phone for hours and then telling them I love them and leaving and then keep coming back for more. I do that now but...It's just not the same when that person isn't completely yours. It just hurts more. No one can understand my feelings and how confused I am right now, and I don't expect them to. ttfn, I <3 S.T.

First Love....
Mood:  crushed out
Topic: Forever and Always
I can make all the promises in the world...
But when I say forever,
Forever is what I mean.

I'm doing ok so far. I'm glad I'm still breathing. I love my little babyface to death. I wrote a poem for her too...Here it is...

Just Imagine...

Just imagine,
If you were my teddy, you'd sleep right next to me.
Just imagine,
If you were my sheets, you would be under me.
Just imagine,
If you were my blankets, you would be on top of me.
Just imagine,
If you were the air, you would be in me.
Just imagine,
If you were the grass, I could snuggle up in you.
Just imagine,
If your kisses were the rain, I would let them soak me.
Just imagine,
If your eyes were fire, I would let them burn into me.
Just imagine,
If you were shooting stars, I would wish on every one I saw.
Just imagine,
If I love you, and you really loved me,
And together is what we were truely meant to be,
You could be all of the above for me.